Could you speak up? You’re not yelling loud enough
Marriage, like most ventures, requires effective communication for success.
My wife and I met under peculiar circumstances, so we knew from the start that we had a lot to talk about.
Early on, we invested time talking about our values, beliefs, and approach to life. We didn’t want our marriage to become another divorce statistic.
Today, money disagreements are at the root of many failed marriages. Many of these disagreements could have been avoided with a little financial education, open communication, and agreeing on key values and goals before getting married.
Opposites attack attract
Before we met, we’d handled our money quite differently. My wife took an easy come, easy go approach, which contrasted painfully with my thriftiness. Of course, I really was only thrifty so I could spend all of my money on my hobbies, so neither of us were planning for the future.
Initially, I was concerned that our conflicting money behaviors might make us incompatible, but we soon realized we shared the same goals and values.
Once we discovered that we shared the same religious beliefs, dreams, goals, and life strategies, adjusting our money behavior was simple.
Increase your odds for success
Sharing the same religious beliefs and values is the foundation of a strong marriage. It is difficult to become one when a couple’s fundamental beliefs differ wildly. Values will inevitably differ slightly, but big differences can and probably will lead to arguments, money disasters, and more.
When life gets busy or unpleasant, sharing the same dreams and goals will help you get through the challenges. Getting out of debt, saving for a house, or going back to school requires sacrifices from both spouses.
Sometimes people’s core beliefs are compatible and they even want the same things in life—they just don’t agree on the strategy for getting there. We’ve all heard stories about the spouse addicted to gambling or the serial entrepreneur who is constantly in debt. Disagreements over risk, debt, and career strategies can leave both spouses unhappy, teetering on a financial precipitous.
Looking back at my own circumstances, poor communication has been at the root of our biggest marital frustrations. Fortunately, the solution simple—keep talking things through until we understand each other. Confusion is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to be about the big stuff.
This post is part of a series on My financial awakening: A life turned upside down
Photo credits: aturkus, demi-brooke
